Approaching a return to sexual activity, after welcoming a baby into your life
Welcoming a baby into your life can be a wonderful and transformative experience. One aspect that women often seek guidance from their pelvic health physiotherapist, is how to navigate returning to sexual activity. In particular the challenges that may occur with this, including changes to arousal, desire, sensations during orgasm and the fear of returning to intercourse. Often women just want to know if these thoughts or changes are normal.
When we discuss the numbers, such as 64.3% of Australia women in one study experienced a change in sexual function during the 12 months after childbirth, many postnatal women feel relieved that they are not ALONE. Openly discussing sex is often considered taboo and many people feel unable to discuss sex with their partner or health practitioners. This can feel very lonely when experiencing changes to your sexuality and relationship.
Changes following Childbirth
There are so many changes that happen both physically and emotionally during the postpartum phase that can make being intimate a challenge or not at all on your radar. Some of the changes that can occur after childbirth include
- Physical changes such as hormonal changes, sensory overload, pain, sleep deprivation, vulva changes and breast changes
- Relationship changes including a focus on parenthood, increased responsibility, lack of time with your partner and a lack of communication
- Family changes which can include pressures from extended family, a difference in parenting approach and an increased demand of other children
- Psychological changes such as trauma from birth, change in self-image including body image and the feeling of being emotionally overwhelmed
You're not alone!
In a recent study, 64.3% of Australia women experienced a change in sexual function during the 12 months after childbirth
How does a physiotherapist help?
The topic of intercourse and what sexual intimacy looks like for you both individually and as a couple is essential in our postnatal physiotherapy appointments. We often discuss any concerns the new mother may be having, normalise how common these concerns are postnatally and then come up with a plan to help. As pelvic health physiotherapists we can help by assessing the pelvic floor muscles for any increase in tension (which is common with any significant life change like welcoming a baby), examine any scarring from perineal tears or an episiotomy, assess for any sensation changes and listen to any concerns or FEARS regarding intercourse and orgasm. After a thorough examination, we are able to reassure the readiness for penetrative intercourse, provide advice regarding returning to sexual activity and create an individualised treatment plan for any additional support that is needed to get to their intimacy goals.
We're specialised to support you in your return to intimacy, address any concerns, and create a personal treatment plan for you
Helpful hints when returning to intimacy after the birth of your baby
Timing
- Returning to sexual activity should be done when you feel ready. This timing varies from person to person and can depend on various factors including the type of delivery, healing process and personal comfort levels. Ensure you have received the green light from your obstetrician or GP, which is usually around 6 weeks post birth.
Start slow and communicate
- When you decide to resume sexual activity, start slowly and communicate openly with your partner. Express any concerns, fears, desires and listen to their thoughts and feelings as well. A gradual approach can help you both adjust and reestablish sexual intimacy while being considerate of each other’s needs and boundaries.
Use lubricant
- One hormonal change during the postpartum period is the reduction of oestrogen. Oestrogen is responsible for making your vaginal tissues plump and juicy. Using a lubricant can help reduce the friction on these tissues and make penetrative intercourse more comfortable.
Explore intimacy
- There are many various ways to be intimate which can be nonsexual, including holding hands, cuddling, kissing on the forehead, eye contact and just being in someone’s personal space. But if you’re feeling “touched out”, maybe emotional intimacy is something you would feel more comfortable exploring. Emotional intimacy can include sharing deepest thoughts, expressing needs/wants and sharing space and time by doing an activity that brings comfort and joy.
We're pretty passionate about lube!
High-quality lubricants with natural ingredients improve the experience of sexual activities, also aiding in protecting sensitive skin, for a number of women, symptoms and circumstances. We have lots in clinic, if you’d like to ask us about the best one for you!
Navigating the changes to your body both emotionally and physically can be a challenge for postpartum women and returning to sexual activity is a journey that requires understanding and self-compassion. At The Healthy Peach Physio we make sure to have the time and space for you to discuss any concerns that you may have about sexual activity and help you achieve your intimacy goals. Remember, your wellbeing and comfort are paramount as you embark on the beautiful journey of parenthood.
https://postbabyhankypanky.com
Reference: Khajehei, M., Doherty, M., Tilley, P. J., & Sauer, K. (2015). Prevalence and risk factors of sexual dysfunction in postpartum Australian women. The journal of sexual medicine, 12(6), 1415–1426. https://doi.org/10.
